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The phrase “never believe the hype”…Is the only phrase that come close. Short and sweet. The past couple of months, I’ve had my head in the clouds listening to nothing but hype. 

Sidenote: It’s nothing being brought down from that hype…Seeing reality again, its somewhat refreshing but stings. 

Never, never, never, Ever believe the hype. 

I’ve always said that I want to work an X amount of years and then branch off into the world on my own, but lounging in the safety net is starting to consume my thoughts. My hunger to be free, to be my own boss was somewhere eating a snack or something because for a moment  ( just a split moment) I got comfortable with my career path. 

Things at work have gotten tremendously better…so good, that I had the audacity to tack on more years to my current location. The past couple of years I’ve been accomplishing all my major and minor goals and I was thinking about straying the path because of comfort. How dare I.

Having a dream when your responsibilities are non life threatening is one thing, but having a dream when you have major responsibilities are a house, cars, a family…etc you start to question yourself a bit. 

But, I caught myself slipping into the comfort zone, and I was somewhat disappointed in myself, but I was only approaching the door…What made me realize was a few of my co workers whom have been there for over 20 and 25 years. They all say the same thing…move around as much as possible and then leave. Or start something on the side just to be on the safe side. I’ve only told a few what my real plan was…work for 5 years…gain enough experience then start my own business. Well since I am approaching my third year its really time to buckle down and keep in my head in the books. A lot of them smiled and applaud my ideas but I know they are thinking, she’ll be here for another 30 years…or that was me when I first started here. But, little do they know I refuse to be there any longer than that. Worse case I go part time just keep a steady cash flow, ya know! 

I’ve got a plan! 

Rushing is just human nature. Or maybe is an American cultural thing. 

We rush to be 16 so we can drive. We rush to be 18 to get in clubs. We rush to be 21 so we can drink…Most people rush to find “the one” to have feel complete; not to mention to have kids and all that good stuff. But, We are impatient…we want instant gratification in everything we do.

How did we get this way?! More importantly how did I get this way?! …

Running high on emotions and clouded judgment brings uncertainty and re-evluating situations.  

Enjoy each day like its the last, but still make smalls strides for the future. 

Its amazing how years of bad relationships can turn you into either a bitter old prune or a grateful loving girlfriend/wife.  

I didn’t realize how much I put up with in past relationships. I never realized how ungrateful people could be or have been to me while in a relationship. We put so much on the word “love” that we endure things thinking that this is love, but yet when we truly experience love we later realize that what we were putting up with were nothing but rubbish. However, how are you to know? You have to live and learn and that is why I appreciate  the obstacles that i have surpassed to get to this point. 

My childhood experiences affects my decision making and my perception on almost  everything.

Yesterday as I waiting for my friend to call me back so we could meet for dinner, I decided to skip the gym and shop a little bit. So, I walked in one of many favorite stores- Marshalls.  As I was browsing through the clothes, shoes, perfume, and bedding section; I spotted some little girls bra’s. I automatically thought of my little sister and began to wonder what size she wore. I’ve notice she has little mosquito bites growing in rather nicely. Now, this is the age where little girls get their periods, boob and start taking shape. As I stood in the aisle with the little girl bra’s I had a flash back to my childhood and how my mother never took me bra shopping or brought bra’s home. So, I grabbed a few and seen they were only a dollar a piece. I grabbed about 5 of them along with two sports bra’s because I’m pretty sure her sports bra are getting raggedy. This morning I sat with her and showed her how to find the bra size and how to tell if and when her bra is too big, too small and just right. 

Example number two….

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tisk tisk tisk…To bad we aren’t given the opportunity to pick our own parents. 

smh and I had to dads and still wouldn’t pick neither one. 

My effort to eat right and CONSISTENTLY workout is starting to get better. 

The food.
Eating healthy food was never the problem. I like stuffing my face with salads, veggies, fruits and even some tofu, but the amount [I was consuming] was the underlying issue. In my youthful days, I had to eat everything that was on my plate and if I didn’t I had to sit there until the food was gone. As a result of the “eat what’s on your plate” ritual, I use to eat until I was stuffed. Normal people stop eating when they are full. Not me, I would eat until I was completely stuffed.

I’ve dropped that habit, which was hard in the beginning, but now its cool. Now that I think about it….I was eating A LOT.

“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning.” Ben Franklin.

I know I should just appreciate the gesture but IDK. I always feel there is something else behind it.

Sigh…Giving my past relationships the finger but giving them a big hug all at the same time.

Im grateful for the lessons that I have encountered with them all. However, I’ve come to realize that i might be missing out on some blessings because i’m afraid of being hurt all over again.

Like everyone else i had a rough childhood…having 6 sibling and being the only girl…yeahhhh it was rough but as i look at my relationships my sibling im surprised i even like them. lol

the one i was closest with…we are kinda at each others throats all the time. But, the other 5 are mad close. Even though when we were younger it was war!

It’s funny how things turnout!