Over the past couple of months many of my friends have been having guy problems- which most females do….But that’s not the issue.
I think I know some of the issues that women struggle with when dealing with men…
For the purpose of this post I’m going to acknowledge two issues that I find are very common. The first being we don’t listen to them in the beginning and the second one is we try to change them.
OK! so, in the beginning when we first meet a guy we often talk about “our intentions” - whether you listen/pay attention to their intentions make all the difference. For example, if a dude says well, I’m really not interested in a relationship right now…i’m just trying to chill.
Pause- we (ladies) need to learn the guy lingo/language. No relationship, just trying to chill = I am looking for a friend with benefits.
So, if you’re interested in being in a relationship and you’ve expressed this and he repeats ” i’m not trying to be your man” - Then Ladies he’s really not trying to be your man. Don’t force it, no matter how much you like him, want him, lust over him…the most you will be is a friend with benefits. & If you happen to become more- it won’t last. && If you can accept that then continue wasting your time, but those with common sense will keep it moving. Also, there is a small percentage of guys that will say I am looking for a girlfriend something long term but not show a bit of interest…Solution: plain and simple- keep it moving. Listening is not only about using your ears but paying attention to his actions and the effort he’s putting towards “you guys”.
Now, mind you…There are special cases where a female ignores his intentions and end up wooing him with her personality and he ends up changing his mind and wifing her. hint hint : special cases. ALSO, most guys are really really nice- nice meaning they will take the pussy if its being thrown at them. If you’re decent looking, or present some type of benefit to them they will use that until (1) someone else worthy of their time comes along or (2) they don’t feel like dealing with you anymore. Guys won’t say I’m not feeling- fall back (like females will) unless he really doesn’t like you. So, be mindful that if he says he’s not interested in what you’re interested in then seriously leave him alone- because he’ll play along until he gets the bra and panties then dip out. And that’s when your feelings are hurt and now you’re bitter and mean mugging every couple you see that looks happy.
So, before even discussing your intentions with anyone, make sure you know your intentions are and what you are willing to put up with. If you’re interested in a relationship (long term), FWB, friends or just a one night stand then stick with it. Because there are guys that want to relationships and will stick around until you give in, but stand firm in your decision to be single for X amount of time. Guys can be very persistent and convincing.
Moving right along….We are famous for trying to change them. Why? Maybe its the feature we were given…hell IDK. The problem is we settle and don’t accept them for who and what they are. See, Instead of seeing him as he is at that present time we often see him for what he MIGHT be and stick around nagging at the things we hope he will change. Now, this goes back to listening in the beginning …you can’t change his mind of wifing just because you bought him the new foamposites. Boo Boo, he will rock them foams and still quit you and continue to wear them with the next chick- trust and believe. And if he’s a real nigga, he’ll keep you around just so he can keep getting shoes or whatever else you’re buying. I mean what guy wouldn’t ? ….silence…exactly.
We as females tend to get desparate and stay with the one we know we shouldn’t be with- literally siting around hoping he will do right by us or just change in general. & Trust the older they are the more likely he will not change, so why waste your time? (this all stems from not having standards, confidence in ourselves, and fearing being single.) Now, there are a few guys that will change & that’s only because they want to change, but don’t expect nothing major. Start with something small like him putting down the toilet seat! lol But, to be honest the problem we have this image of a perfect guy and we try to mold that guy into what we want instead of accepting him for who he is. Once you see him for who he is - you won’t be disappointed (as much) or find yourself pondering on how to change him into your little puppet.
So, main point to take away from this post is…(lol, just like in text book the summary of the chapter) Listen to his intentions when you first meet him as well as pay attention to his actions. Make sure his words match his action. Also, don’t settle and accept him for who he is rather than settling for him because of whatever reason. Also, keep your standards, values and know what you want in a significant other.
aight, i’m done….until next time. Having 6 brothers and a family full of males comes in handy.
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